Better Days presents 180 inspirational readings and creative activities to help teachers and students stay present and optimistic while integrating healthy habits into their lives.
Introduction
The original draft of this book was not specifically geared toward teachers and students. The book you hold in your hands began as a daily writing ritual during the COVID-19 pandemic. I would write reminders to myself of how I wanted to show up in the world despite the challenges we all were facing—strategies to stay present and purposeful and prevent getting overwhelmed. What people say is true: You write what you need to learn, and I needed daily reminders to stay present, positive, and optimistic about the future. (I still do.) Many parents, caregivers, and educators at the time were struggling to find activities for children who were stuck at home, and several contacted me for ideas. My background in education as an elementary school teacher and my research on well-being and stress reduction at the West Chester University of Pennsylvania, combined with the presentations I'd given on "Practices to Cultivate Presence," meant my areas of study and expertise were suddenly in demand. So I began connecting what I was writing about to children as well because I knew the need was great. How many times have you been in a store and seen a child holding their mom or dad's phone, mesmerized by some game or video? I can't be the only one who sees children everywhere glued to a device rather than looking around and engaging with the world. Go into any restaurant and I guarantee you'll see kids looking down at a device, and their parents doing the same thing. In my heart, I know that any adult or child can benefit from the practices discussed here. Better Days offers 180 daily social-emotional learning–focused readings and activities to help teachers and students navigate this epidemic of distractions and lost connections while integrating healthy habits into their lives. An underlying premise of this book is that we solidify and extend our own knowledge by teaching what we learn to others, and that the most effective way to do so is by being fully present and available in each moment. Presence cannot be taught; we simply must be present. We can then transmit our state—our way of being—to our students. I used to wake up every morning and write in my calendar how "blah" I felt on a scale of 0 to 10. I was looking for patterns, trying to find exactly what was triggering that blah feeling that I couldn't seem to shake. Eventually, I figured it out—and that's what I share in this book: ways to get rid of the blahs and feel a bit better. These days, I write down how content I feel from 0 to 10. I have found that life is much better when I am intentional about how I live my life. I try to be thoughtful about what I do first thing in the morning, the amount and types of media I consume, the food and beverages I put into my body, how much movement and fresh air I get, what's on my calendar, who I spend my free time with, what I read before bed, how much sleep I get, and more. Most important of all, I am intentional about my thinking. The practices in this book are intended to help you, too, slow down and consider your choices, behaviors, and thoughts. Notice that I'm not calling this book a recipe for happiness. I have read countless self-help books, listened to endless podcasts on well-being, written courses on social-emotional learning, held retreats, written a book titled Practicing Presence, meditated and exercised daily, and begun every day with green juice—and I still have bad days. That's called life. But I have learned that with the right beliefs, thoughts, and actions, better days are possible. So while I am not going to claim that Better Days is the key to a blissful life—if only that were true!—I do believe it can make your life (and your students' lives) better. We can be aware of how we are feeling and intentionally do something to change our mindset. I am a teacher, consultant, and therapeutic coach. All these roles overlap, but I've written this book from the perspective of a coach. Teachers teach and consultants try to fix things; by contrast, a coach mobilizes your inner resources to enhance your personal development, tapping into what you already know but may have forgotten and helping you gain clarity. Coaching ensures that changes are not just theoretical but mapped out with a clear, actionable plan. I'd like to think teachers prepare students for life, not just to contribute to the global economy. The student activities in this book are all focused on social-emotional learning and can be continuously implemented both inside and outside the classroom. To prevent students from requiring interventions in the second decade of their lives, I believe we should help them as much as we can in the first decade. And we do this best by demonstrating: As teachers, we need to authentically show that the words we use and the actions we take matter. Never forget that our students are watching. In Write for Your Life (2022), author Charles Wheelan notes that "the purpose of writing is to accomplish something" (p. 2). What matters is not how elegantly we write but whether what we write inspires people to take action. For this reason, I've tried to avoid jargon and excessive academic references in this book. Little of what I present here is especially original; for the most part, I have taken my research and translated it into practical daily entries for the reader to reflect on. As you read each entry in this book, I encourage you to share what you learn through discussion and activities with your students and, if time allows, with colleagues. My hope is that Better Days will supply you with what Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue, in conversation with On Being host Krista Tippett, referred to as "conversations … that sing in your mind for weeks afterwards":
Such conversations can expand and change lives, often in ways you will never know. Every day, we have 24 hours to live; how we live is up to us. We can live in a way that brings peace, presence, and joy to ourselves and others. This book's lessons serve as reminders that better days are only possible in the present moment. How to Use This BookA writer should write to their audience, and one thing I know about teachers is that many of you feel overwhelmed and overextended. You have too much to do and not enough time or support. You may not feel valued. Your students are distracted. I have tailored this book to support busy teachers who are looking for daily guidance. Dedicating just a few minutes a day to the entries in these pages will allow you to embrace each day with a sense of hope and inner wisdom. This is a book you pick up when you need some inspiration or an idea for an inspiring classroom activity. Because I know how busy you are, the daily readings in Better Days are designed to be read in about two minutes. They don't need to be read sequentially; just open the table of contents, find a theme that interests you, and pick an exercise. You can then decide for yourself whether you want to try out a practice for yourself or implement it with students. Take what you read and do what you always do: make it work for you and your students. And if you miss a day, a week, or even a month of entries in this book, no worries—you can pick your reading up again at any point. The format is simple. Each day's message includes a topic related to presence. This is followed by a quote or an affirmation strategically selected based on the intersecting connections it has to the topic. Next, a short passage of research or reflection related to the topic provides an authentic perspective on presence. These ideas are then followed with practices for teachers and student connections to try with learners. There are endless possibilities for ways you might customize the use of this book to meet your needs. As a teacher, I don't want to be told what to do or how or when to do it, so I don't want to tell you those things, either. Instead, I want to provide you with ideas, resources, and examples and let you take it from there. When everything feels like it's speeding up, the perception of time famine prevents many of us from enjoying sustained periods of daily reading and reflection. Think of this concise and practical book as a framework of daily practices that can be integrated into the frenetic pace of modern life—simple thoughts to anchor each day, carrying you through tumultuous challenges and ever-changing demands on your focus, energy, and time. The following anchoring principles are intentionally threaded throughout this book:
Each entry is short, practical, and supported by research on behavioral science regarding positive change (Clear, 2018). This research shows that "micro-changes" are the best way to establish new habits—but forming new habits requires practice. Better Days provides a practice for every day of the school year meant to instill positive habits that research shows can cultivate well-being. Yes, there will always be more to do than you can do, and there will always be more people who need and want your time than you can serve. Making smart choices is what matters, and one of the smartest choices you can make is to support your and your students' well-being. As a teacher myself, I have always been drawn to daybooks. Something about wisdom distilled into a few words to bookend our days with thoughts of presence feels right to me. Starting the day with a short passage related to presence helps me notice more of the good and appreciate what's right in front of me. More time spent being present makes it more likely that I can bring forth my most flexible and resilient self. There's no "right" time to implement the practices. You might choose to read a passage at home and then reflect on how you might incorporate what you read into your school day during your commute. You might practice first thing in the morning or save it for the end of the day. Some practices are meant to be done over a longer period, so you might select one and revisit it throughout the week. You might also choose to read a passage at night, then try the practice in the morning. What we put into our mind right before we go to sleep seeps into our unconscious mind. I encourage teachers to use this book in a personal learning community that focuses on teacher well-being. Teachers could be given time to explore the readings and practices and then discuss them with colleagues. This is also an ideal book to give new teachers and their mentors at induction so they can learn together. This book is a springboard that could lead to meaningful conversations about teaching, learning, and living. Bear in mind that the primacy/recency effect means students are most likely to remember the things they learn first or last in a sequence (Castel, 2008). The student connection activities in this book can be used with students as minilessons during morning meetings, closing circles, or any other time you and your students need to feel restored:
For the most part, the activities in Better Days are screen-free; it is essential for students to spend time away from devices if they are to be fully present. More than ever, today's students need opportunities to mingle with their peers in person and interact with skilled teachers who can facilitate respectful and well-intentioned discussions. Teachers can model discourse, perspective taking, and how to agree to disagree appropriately. Of course, your choices about implementing the activities in this book will be informed by the age of your students. Older students could be given a topic as a prompt to write about, and younger ones could be provided with a journal in which to illustrate their reflections. Many of the activities can also be completed orally. When sharing material with students, you may choose to read the book aloud or summarize the contents. Some students might benefit from hearing how you've applied the practices into your life. This book is designed to cultivate the habits and routines that will protect our passion so that we have the presence to provide quality social-emotional support to our students. This is as important as grading papers, attending committee meetings, and writing lesson plans. I would argue that it's actually more important. This book might help you remember why you went into education in the first place and what your priorities are. It can rekindle your passion and purpose. One thing is certain: If you simply skim through this book without actively trying out any of the activities, little will change. But if you take action on what you read in these pages, not only will you change the way you look at things, but the things you look at may also change. Our thoughts, words, and actions create our world. Printed by for personal use only |
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.
—Richard Bach
The original draft of this book was not specifically geared toward teachers and students. The book you hold in your hands began as a daily writing ritual during the COVID-19 pandemic. I would write reminders to myself of how I wanted to show up in the world despite the challenges we all were facing—strategies to stay present and purposeful and prevent getting overwhelmed. What people say is true: You write what you need to learn, and I needed daily reminders to stay present, positive, and optimistic about the future. (I still do.) Many parents, caregivers, and educators at the time were struggling to find activities for children who were stuck at home, and several contacted me for ideas. My background in education as an elementary school teacher and my research on well-being and stress reduction at the West Chester University of Pennsylvania, combined with the presentations I'd given on "Practices to Cultivate Presence," meant my areas of study and expertise were suddenly in demand.
So I began connecting what I was writing about to children as well because I knew the need was great. How many times have you been in a store and seen a child holding their mom or dad's phone, mesmerized by some game or video? I can't be the only one who sees children everywhere glued to a device rather than looking around and engaging with the world. Go into any restaurant and I guarantee you'll see kids looking down at a device, and their parents doing the same thing. In my heart, I know that any adult or child can benefit from the practices discussed here.
Better Days offers 180 daily social-emotional learning–focused readings and activities to help teachers and students navigate this epidemic of distractions and lost connections while integrating healthy habits into their lives. An underlying premise of this book is that we solidify and extend our own knowledge by teaching what we learn to others, and that the most effective way to do so is by being fully present and available in each moment. Presence cannot be taught; we simply must be present. We can then transmit our state—our way of being—to our students.
I used to wake up every morning and write in my calendar how "blah" I felt on a scale of 0 to 10. I was looking for patterns, trying to find exactly what was triggering that blah feeling that I couldn't seem to shake. Eventually, I figured it out—and that's what I share in this book: ways to get rid of the blahs and feel a bit better.
These days, I write down how content I feel from 0 to 10. I have found that life is much better when I am intentional about how I live my life. I try to be thoughtful about what I do first thing in the morning, the amount and types of media I consume, the food and beverages I put into my body, how much movement and fresh air I get, what's on my calendar, who I spend my free time with, what I read before bed, how much sleep I get, and more. Most important of all, I am intentional about my thinking. The practices in this book are intended to help you, too, slow down and consider your choices, behaviors, and thoughts.
Notice that I'm not calling this book a recipe for happiness. I have read countless self-help books, listened to endless podcasts on well-being, written courses on social-emotional learning, held retreats, written a book titled Practicing Presence, meditated and exercised daily, and begun every day with green juice—and I still have bad days. That's called life. But I have learned that with the right beliefs, thoughts, and actions, better days are possible. So while I am not going to claim that Better Days is the key to a blissful life—if only that were true!—I do believe it can make your life (and your students' lives) better. We can be aware of how we are feeling and intentionally do something to change our mindset.
I am a teacher, consultant, and therapeutic coach. All these roles overlap, but I've written this book from the perspective of a coach. Teachers teach and consultants try to fix things; by contrast, a coach mobilizes your inner resources to enhance your personal development, tapping into what you already know but may have forgotten and helping you gain clarity. Coaching ensures that changes are not just theoretical but mapped out with a clear, actionable plan.
I'd like to think teachers prepare students for life, not just to contribute to the global economy. The student activities in this book are all focused on social-emotional learning and can be continuously implemented both inside and outside the classroom. To prevent students from requiring interventions in the second decade of their lives, I believe we should help them as much as we can in the first decade. And we do this best by demonstrating: As teachers, we need to authentically show that the words we use and the actions we take matter. Never forget that our students are watching.
In Write for Your Life (2022), author Charles Wheelan notes that "the purpose of writing is to accomplish something" (p. 2). What matters is not how elegantly we write but whether what we write inspires people to take action. For this reason, I've tried to avoid jargon and excessive academic references in this book. Little of what I present here is especially original; for the most part, I have taken my research and translated it into practical daily entries for the reader to reflect on. As you read each entry in this book, I encourage you to share what you learn through discussion and activities with your students and, if time allows, with colleagues. My hope is that Better Days will supply you with what Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue, in conversation with On Being host Krista Tippett, referred to as "conversations … that sing in your mind for weeks afterwards":
When is the last time that you had a great conversation, a conversation which wasn't just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture? But when had you last a great conversation, in which you overheard yourself saying things that you never knew you knew, that you heard yourself receiving from somebody words that absolutely found places within you that you'd thought you had lost, and a sense of an event of a conversation that brought the two of you onto a different plane, and then, fourthly, a conversation that continued to sing in your mind for weeks afterwards? (Tippett, 2008)
Such conversations can expand and change lives, often in ways you will never know. Every day, we have 24 hours to live; how we live is up to us. We can live in a way that brings peace, presence, and joy to ourselves and others. This book's lessons serve as reminders that better days are only possible in the present moment.
A writer should write to their audience, and one thing I know about teachers is that many of you feel overwhelmed and overextended. You have too much to do and not enough time or support. You may not feel valued. Your students are distracted.
I have tailored this book to support busy teachers who are looking for daily guidance. Dedicating just a few minutes a day to the entries in these pages will allow you to embrace each day with a sense of hope and inner wisdom. This is a book you pick up when you need some inspiration or an idea for an inspiring classroom activity. Because I know how busy you are, the daily readings in Better Days are designed to be read in about two minutes. They don't need to be read sequentially; just open the table of contents, find a theme that interests you, and pick an exercise. You can then decide for yourself whether you want to try out a practice for yourself or implement it with students. Take what you read and do what you always do: make it work for you and your students. And if you miss a day, a week, or even a month of entries in this book, no worries—you can pick your reading up again at any point.
The format is simple. Each day's message includes a topic related to presence. This is followed by a quote or an affirmation strategically selected based on the intersecting connections it has to the topic. Next, a short passage of research or reflection related to the topic provides an authentic perspective on presence. These ideas are then followed with practices for teachers and student connections to try with learners.
There are endless possibilities for ways you might customize the use of this book to meet your needs. As a teacher, I don't want to be told what to do or how or when to do it, so I don't want to tell you those things, either. Instead, I want to provide you with ideas, resources, and examples and let you take it from there.
When everything feels like it's speeding up, the perception of time famine prevents many of us from enjoying sustained periods of daily reading and reflection. Think of this concise and practical book as a framework of daily practices that can be integrated into the frenetic pace of modern life—simple thoughts to anchor each day, carrying you through tumultuous challenges and ever-changing demands on your focus, energy, and time.
The following anchoring principles are intentionally threaded throughout this book:
Teaching, learning, and living are all connected.
Presence is a continuous practice—a way of living, not an end goal.
Reflective personal inquiry is how we begin to initiate changes in our lives.
We can't teach presence unless we practice presence ourselves.
Better days are always possible.
Each entry is short, practical, and supported by research on behavioral science regarding positive change (Clear, 2018). This research shows that "micro-changes" are the best way to establish new habits—but forming new habits requires practice. Better Days provides a practice for every day of the school year meant to instill positive habits that research shows can cultivate well-being. Yes, there will always be more to do than you can do, and there will always be more people who need and want your time than you can serve. Making smart choices is what matters, and one of the smartest choices you can make is to support your and your students' well-being.
As a teacher myself, I have always been drawn to daybooks. Something about wisdom distilled into a few words to bookend our days with thoughts of presence feels right to me. Starting the day with a short passage related to presence helps me notice more of the good and appreciate what's right in front of me. More time spent being present makes it more likely that I can bring forth my most flexible and resilient self.
There's no "right" time to implement the practices. You might choose to read a passage at home and then reflect on how you might incorporate what you read into your school day during your commute. You might practice first thing in the morning or save it for the end of the day. Some practices are meant to be done over a longer period, so you might select one and revisit it throughout the week. You might also choose to read a passage at night, then try the practice in the morning. What we put into our mind right before we go to sleep seeps into our unconscious mind.
I encourage teachers to use this book in a personal learning community that focuses on teacher well-being. Teachers could be given time to explore the readings and practices and then discuss them with colleagues. This is also an ideal book to give new teachers and their mentors at induction so they can learn together. This book is a springboard that could lead to meaningful conversations about teaching, learning, and living.
Bear in mind that the primacy/recency effect means students are most likely to remember the things they learn first or last in a sequence (Castel, 2008). The student connection activities in this book can be used with students as minilessons during morning meetings, closing circles, or any other time you and your students need to feel restored:
Using these activities first thing in the morning ensures students begin the day with hope and pointed toward presence, which helps foster a collaborative environment conducive to learning.
After lunch and recess, students benefit from restorative activities that transition them into the afternoon. Several of the activities in this book can be used to harness students' attention during a post-break slump and prepare them for the next academic segment of their day.
To ensure students leave school for the day with a mindset that nurtures self-acceptance and promotes compassion, consider using the activities in this book as end-of-the-day practices. When parents ask their children what they did at school, they often share what happened last, so closing with these activities could spark meaningful conversations in the home. (Indeed, this book is also a helpful resource for parents.)
For the most part, the activities in Better Days are screen-free; it is essential for students to spend time away from devices if they are to be fully present. More than ever, today's students need opportunities to mingle with their peers in person and interact with skilled teachers who can facilitate respectful and well-intentioned discussions. Teachers can model discourse, perspective taking, and how to agree to disagree appropriately.
Of course, your choices about implementing the activities in this book will be informed by the age of your students. Older students could be given a topic as a prompt to write about, and younger ones could be provided with a journal in which to illustrate their reflections. Many of the activities can also be completed orally. When sharing material with students, you may choose to read the book aloud or summarize the contents. Some students might benefit from hearing how you've applied the practices into your life.
This book is designed to cultivate the habits and routines that will protect our passion so that we have the presence to provide quality social-emotional support to our students. This is as important as grading papers, attending committee meetings, and writing lesson plans. I would argue that it's actually more important. This book might help you remember why you went into education in the first place and what your priorities are. It can rekindle your passion and purpose.
One thing is certain: If you simply skim through this book without actively trying out any of the activities, little will change. But if you take action on what you read in these pages, not only will you change the way you look at things, but the things you look at may also change. Our thoughts, words, and actions create our world.
